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GOLF RESOURCE GUIDE:
Stuff And Nonsense
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 An immortal TV moment—and in color. (PHOTO: Brandon Jaime) Remember “The Honeymooners”? (Blank, uncomprehending stares from Bubba Watson and Rory McIlroy.) Remember the episode where Ralph has to learn to play golf in two days in order to impress the boss? (Patrick Cantlay’s jaw goes slack. Camilo Villegas begins to snore.) Remember the “address the ball” gag? (Jack, Arnie, Fuzzy, Lee and nine-tenths of the Champions Tour collapse in helpless, choking laughter.) OK, for the record, here’s the setup: Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), togged out in the worst golfing ensemble ever imagined, brandishing a driver and substituting a pincushion for a ball, is confused by a bit of elementary golfing nomenclature as presented by Ed Norton (Art Carney). Ed: (reading from an instruction book) “The golf swing: First, step up, plant your feet firmly on the ground and address the ball.” Ralph: Wait a minute. What do they mean by “address the ball”? Ed: How should I know? That’s what it says here. Seconds later, he has an epiphany. He sets the book down, takes the driver from Ralph and twitches it back and forth. Ed: Step up … Plant your feet firmly… He waggles, then bends from the waist and waves in salutation to the pincushion. Ed: Hellooooooooooo, ball! Ralph goes predictably berserk and belts Norton in the back. It provokes one of the biggest laughs in early television. You can capture this immortal golfing moment on an actual wardrobe item. The moment of truth and Norton’s fateful line are silk-screened onto a T-shirt available at several websites, usually for about $20. (Type “hello ball shirt” in the search window.) Not sure if you want to part with such a princely sum? Check out the actual scene on video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNauilZRzHk. |
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